Psalms 37

Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;

Yup there is it! Took me a few months to get it but I finally got it! :)
I have been so focused on how to get out of here and what I am going to do when I leave that I have lost the beauty behind why the Lord led me home in the first place......to dwell in this land, for this time, and to cultivate faithfulness.
There is no question that it has been and probably will continue to be difficult to be here. But I need to remember that sorrow and suffering are companions that my sweet Lord has picked for me with purpose and intent....that intent, although much deeper then I understand I am sure, can all be wrap up in a short little statement....the cultivation of my faith.

I am a dictionary.com addict (lol) and after I was reading this verse today and "got it" I had to look up cultivate. The definition is "to prepare and work on (land) in order to raise crops." WOW....in this case I think land could be replaced with heart.

The next part of the verse--Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart--has been a favorite of mine for years. In light of the verse before it though, and what it now means for me I like it even more. The Lord is preparing and working on me, cultivating me, getting me ready for some sort of crop again lol :) And as I surrender to Him and just let Him do the work that needs done on my heart He will give me the desires of my heart. Exciting!!

The next part that really stuck out to me, even though the whole thing was awesome, is the last part that says REST in the Lord and wait PATIENTLY for Him. I have been doing everything BUT resting, trying to figure out the perfect plan for what is next. Should I go here, should I go there, what country, what city...aaaaahhhhhhhh! I am driving myself crazy lol.

All He wants me to do is REST in the truth of who He is...........allow the CULTIVATING to take place as I seek Him and literally dwell here lol........and trust that my He will GIVE me the desires of my heart....what an amazing Father I have :)