Today I Realized I Am More in Love with Jesus

My quiet soul sometimes wants to shout to the world that I have a lot to say. I have strong opinions and passions and at times if you know me well enough you cant shut me up. What I have to say matters, and I believe that more every day. More often than not I feel that I say it more effectively and with clarity in written word. So, for a while I have been tossing around the idea of writing again. Sharing my heart that so many have invested in; so many have touched; so many have been used of the Lord to change and shape.

Where do I start though? A story of freedom or victory? What a blessing it is to be used as the healing hands of Christ as I care for people on their worst days? Maybe a funny nursing story? Life has been so full in the last few years that a starting point seemed just out of reach.

And then this morning I woke up and realized something....I am more in love with Jesus. All the crazy blog worthy stories of my life thrown together in the mosaic of who I am have accomplished something of eternal value. I love Jesus more. The more I thought about that today the more I felt the need to shout it to the world.

The last few years of joys and struggles; victories, challenges and sorrows, mixed with waiting and a lot of unknowns have been the very thing that the Lord used to answer my hearts cry to love him more. A lot of that time has been spent anticipating the end of a season and a result I desire. Graduation. The job I see myself in. Financial stability. The salvation of my family. Marriage. Most of those things I do not yet have. And, I may never have. I have been waiting and trusting and doing my very best to glean from every lesson my sweet Jesus sends my way. Anticipating and some days praying fervently. Some days not so much. Yet in his infinite wisdom and ability to hear my heart over my muffled thoughts, Jesus did something even more amazing then I could have expected and answered my deepest cry and desire to know him. More. And he continues to answer that prayer. And, although I still wait and hope for things, I am learning more and more to be present in today and marvel at the work being done in my heart through it all. To truly count it all joy. Any struggle, any wait, any circumstance is worth an ever increasing depth of relationship with the Creator and Sustainer of all. Unspeakable JOY.